Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Lozada loses battle against rice

I USED to amaze friends who drop by our house at dinner time. I was in midteens back then in Kamuning. That was the time when I was having a four-inch summer, meaning when my growth hormones was working triple time.

The reason was that I can consume a plate brimming with steamed rice with just one boiled egg as viand. Sometimes with a few strands of instant noodles or meat, but the feat revolved around how I can eat as many rice with as little viand as possible.

It's the opposite now. Sometimes I don't have rice at all. But this came to mind after I heard yet another news report on the rice shortage, which is beginning to sound tired and suspicious at the same, if you ask me.

If I remember it right rice shortage wasn't confirmed, and I doubt if it would ever be. But the deluge of news reports about how the price of rice and other basic commoditites have soon buried the issue of the ZTE-NBN deal. The more trendy acronym nowadays was NFA.

Suddenly the same people who watched the Senate hearing live on television as if it was a Pacquiao fight have soon switched their attention to the looming crisis on food (regardless if it's true or not).

Whoever thought of the diversionary tactic did a brilliant job. You want the Filipino masses' attention, strike a chord closer to their stomach. Mas malapit sa bituka mas maganda.

Monday, April 7, 2008

I vacuumed a mouse


I READ IT from the legendary Andy Rooney that vacation shouldn't be taxing to make you feel like taking another after having one. Well unfortunately I think I just had one the past nine days.

The run-up to our grand excursion to the beach was gripped with suspense and slam-bang action. Maxi had back-to-back affairs in school. I had three coverages right on the last day before the trip. Vangie had errands. Mavi was busy wondering what bikinis to wear.

What we left behind were mountains of laundry and a wild jungle, rain-forest of a house. We kept them in the deep recesses of our minds, hoping they will disappear while we basked in the sun and drink margarita and vodka martini by the beach.

But sure enough, we came back home to their menacing embrace. And just as soon as we realized we had a lot of stuff to do, move, transfer, throw away, file, and clean up, the energy we have recharged over the weekend drained just as fast.

There were some excitement in the general cleaning, though.

Like when the juggernaut reached the kitchen –where we also kept our shoes – Vangie noticed something stirring from among the boxes underneath. So she called up the Man of the House.

I'm not afraid of critters, roaches or rats. I once crushed a two-foot snake coiled by the washing machine one evening after arriving from the office. But that was topic for another blog entry.

One by one, with bated breath, I took out the boxes. Silently I was preparing for something to jump on me. But nothing came out until I reached the last box tucked in the corner. I lifted it slightly. Shook gently. And out came a small rat.

It hopped away and scurried by the LPG tank. I didn't make any attempt to hit it or crush it by my feet because I might break things. I slammed the kitchen door so it couldn't get into the house and hold my girls hostage. But it dashed by the table and took cover in the hamper now brimming with laundry. I then took a calibrated preemptive response.

I opened the back door in case it decides to lay down its arms and avoid bloodshed. But the suspect refused my offer. Instead, it took refuge in the back of washing machine, by the umbrellas and some clothes that were strewn by the commotion.

Listen, that washing machine, just because it was located near the back door, has now been a favorite battleground between me and small animals.

But I let it rest. I got the vacuum cleaner and cleaned up the mess. From where the shoe boxes were until I again reached the battleground. I moved it gently. Nothing. Vangie asked if it's gone. I said most probably. I moved the washing machine to a different spot so I can vacuum the floor underneath.

I trained the nozzle at the ends of the linoleum fold and then suddenly things happened so fast. The vacuum cleaner went crazy. It's as if it was choking. There was a loud buzzing noise all the way up from the nozzle to the hose and down to the dust bag inside the vacuum cleaner.

Then there was silence. I looked at Vangie and she nodded knowingly, like some mafia boss happy after an excellent whacking job of a rival family member.

Cigar, wine and speedboat ride


I ONLY used that title for effect, but no, I didn't get to smoke sigar and sip red wine while on speedboat last week. We packed light and the decision to hire a speedboat by the hour came in the last minute – or at least after I made sure there was still some money left in my pocket.

It was the third straight summer we hightailed it to Boracay, the past two years timed for Maxi's birthday. Every single time an experience, so I listed up a few things I observed while vacationing in the hottest destination this part of the tropics.

1.It was perfectly cool to hang around and even walk the whole town without a shirt on. That's regardless of what shape you're in. And from what I saw, the ratio of those sporting a well-toned body is 50-50 to those who don't.

2.I have the license to have an ice-cold beer anytime of the day. The earliest I recorded was 9 a.m. just right after breakfast and the wife absolutely had no complaint about it.

3.You can have fresh seafoods cooked as you like it, but it would cost you almost five times more if you decide to have it by the beachfront than in talipapa which is far less fashionable place to eat while in Boracay.

4.Hotel prices along the white beach have big discrepancy, like it's $300 (or its peso equivalent) a night in Discovery Shores, which lies on the same stretch as Marzons which asked for a little more than $50. We planned to stay out most part of the day, and only need a room to sleep so that should be no-brainer.

5.People can still get hurt in the calm, crystal-clear waters. While we're taking a walk one afternoon we chanced upon a crowd milling around a drowning victim.

6.SEAir is true to its advertising claim of 35-minute flight from Manila. I timed it from takeoff to landing and it clocked just 27 minutes.

7.Topless sun-bathers are extremely rare in Boracay. Women no longer undo their bikini top and when some of them do, they're mostly the ones you don't want to see naked.

8.Nobody reads the newspaper in Boracay. You also don't feel like checking out the TV while you're there.

9.There are plenty of water sports to get into, but the best one for me is people-watching because it doesn't cost me anything and I never had to get off from where I was sitting.

10.Mavi doesn't know who the hell Aga Muhlach is. He passed by us in the airport on the way to Manila and he was short and ordinary looking wearing big shades and faded shirt. Anne Curtis looked radiant even when not opening her wide mouth to smile. Both Mavi and Maxi recognized her.

11.Wearing shades on the beach looked cool, but it leaves racoon marks around the eyes which would then force you to wear shades within the next few days until the color in your face are even matched.

12.Watching school of fish of different colors and live coral reef landscape is more fun on TV than when you're peering at them yourself in the open water meters from the rented boat. If you don't know how to use the snorkel, it's twice as worse.